Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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