can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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