I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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