Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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