Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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