I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize