You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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