false alarm. still invincible.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
