At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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