You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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