the day after is always just damage control
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
