ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
