He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
