I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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