tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
No subtext here. People are naked.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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