this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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