so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
