I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize