i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
