Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
