so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
