You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
