I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
