Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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