we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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