Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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