i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
