there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
