Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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