K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just want to make out with him forever
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
