Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
