im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
