hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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