They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
