Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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