We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
