In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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