think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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