just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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