I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
