i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
