did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I am one with the molecules
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
