vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I smell like Dick and happiness
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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