Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
