Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
