You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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