Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
