So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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