I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
