I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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