She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
