yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
