We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize
