I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he was CRYING into my vagina
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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