I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
