Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
