This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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