I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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