I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize