they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
