I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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