we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
